A very Chinesey Christmas

Ok ok, no more crazy dinner party stories. I've got a real one here about Christmas.
As many of you know, Andrea, Cathy Lee, Aubrey, Brandon and I stayed at the Beijing Crowne Plaza Hotel for Christmas. This was, by far, the most pleasant thing we've experienced here in China, but the only reason it beats out the flight from Xi'an to Beijing is because the China Air plane didn't have a jacuzzi.

I shall start my explanation of our week of gluttony by describing the truly "Lost in Translation" moment we had when we arrived at our 5 star hotel and a swarm of cleanly pressed and polished Crowne Plaza workers greeted us at the door, insisting on carrying our bags and pushing any and all elevator buttons for us. The hotel is actually still being renovated which means that check-in is on the 8th floor. It also meant that we got a 30% refund on my credit card when we checked out. A sincere letter of apology begged for our forgiveness that they only had floors 7, 8 and 9 open including the heated pool, jacuzzi, steam room, sauna, work out room, tanning bed and massage parlor... darn... we supposed we'd just have to be satisfied eating our continental breakfast with pretty little made-to-order omelettes in the 8th floor lounge instead of the huge dining area on the first floor.

The beautiful glass elevators took us down one floor while the bellhop opened the door to room no. 719 (aka heaven). Inside I found; a king sized bed complete with down comforter and four down pillows, many light switches for me to control my mood lighting, a bathtub with powerful massage shower head, bath accoutrements including shower cap, toothbrush, razor, lotion, shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, cotton swabs, and everywhere I looked (sans bathroom of course) CARPET! Carpet, carpet, carpet, carpet! Ahhhh! I took my shoes and socks off and pranced about for a few moments in my beautiful room until I remembered that I smelled like China and immediately showered and soaked myself in a lovely, lovely bath.

We decided that some Christmas Eve shopping was in order so we simply walked out our front door to Beijing's finest Western shopping experience - WanFuJing Street. I perused the Nine West store and wandered around the many Chinese clothing stores in awe at the general hideousness of so many of their clothing items, and not in a good way. I do have to thank Brandon for being a particularly good sport as I ran from one ugly purse to another and even pretended to think that it would indeed be funny if I bought him the men's purple sweater with the word "pirate" written across the chest in big, cursive, pink sequins. and I thought women's Chinese clothes were weird...

Christmas Even dinner was then to be had at TGI Fridays. It was so perfectly TGI Fridays that you would almost think you were in America until you notice that all the workers were Asian and I don't care where you are in the States, that just doesn't happen. But really, the bar tenders were ringing their crazy "tip bell" and everyone had on their goofy hat and required 35 pieces of flair. The menu was also exactly the same, so I got some Electic Lemonaid, split the Mexi-tower appetiser (complete with jalapeno poppers, quesadillas and chicken nachos) and had a bacon cheddar burger with onion rings all to myself. We all vowed to eat everything on our plates even if it meant sitting back and waiting till you were hungry again to finish. We all know how much I like bacon and fried things so, no trouble there.

Jacuzzi plus food coma plus feather bedding equals the best nights sleep of my life.
We woke up for church on Christmas morning with bleary-eyed smiles. There was a beautiful Catholic church within walking distance of our hotel so we trekked on to wish Jesus a happy birthday. The mass was completely in Chinese, including the Christmas songs which were also translated. We were five of maybe seven foreigners in the place so I got my picture taken on my way up for communion, the procession of which was also incredibly Chinese in the way that it was a complete free-for-all to line up. No orderly line what so ever, though there was no pushing, so I guess it wasn't completely Chinese. The preist smiled and spoke to me in English when it was my turn which I thought was a nice touch.

Continental breakfast and then back in our jammies for presents! We had quite the pile even though it was only for the five of us. Brandon was ready for a fiesta with his bottle of Cuervo and Cuban cigars. Aubrey was ready to stay up for hours with her Starbucks gift certificate. Andrea got some pretty stuff I can't remember. I got some sweet paintings and a kick ass Puma bag, and Cathy Lee was regrettably given a bb-gun by yours truly, a gift I think I might soon regret.
Mud mask, bubble bath and brie in the afternoon and onto a hearty Christmas feast at the Outback Steakhouse. Two bloomen' onions, a fillet and loaded backed potato later and we decided that it could have, quite possibly been the best Christmas ever because we were appreciating every little detail of even minute luxury.

It was a holiday to remember. I missed all of you, though not too much...